Periods, question mark?

Did you know you should avoid dental work while you’re menstruating? Do a quick scan of these top Google Search results if you’re not convinced. I discovered these search results myself the day after I’d had all my wisdom teeth removed. As I was trying to remember how many pain pills I could consume at one time, I was going through box after box of dental gauze and super tampons, sitting in agony and disbelief.

As a coach, I work primarily with people who menstruate (PWM), focusing on singular goals like improving health, building a life of purpose, and constructing better relationships. In those conversations, you might think menstrual cycles rarely come up. In fact, the ways in which PWM bleed (and don’t bleed) impacts each of these areas and so many more.

Hormonal imbalance can cause a number of challenges for PWM, including trans men: decreased energy, loss of personal identity, and low libido, to name just a few. For women who don’t menstruate (trans women, women who’ve had hysterectomies, women outside child-bearing age, etc.), similar mental and physical challenges can occur. In other words, a balanced hormonal cycle functions as a protective factor for mental and physical health. The overwhelming truth is — we still don’t know all there is to know about how periods should look.

Here’s another example: some foods are better suited to a particular phase of your natural hormonal cycle, like raw veggies vs. cooked veggies. Did you know there are actually four phases in a menstrual cycle, not just “bleeding” and “not bleeding”? If you’ve ever tried to scarf down a salad that turns into sandpaper when it’s part way through your esophagus, that might have been your body telling you it wants those greens warmed up! Also, has anyone ever told you you’re not supposed to have cramps? Cramps are actually a signal that something in your body is off-balance (Tell your friends, people!). Instead, parents of children as young as 10 are reaching out for medical advice for their child’s intense period cramps, hormonal acne, or pelvic discomfort and many are being prescribed birth control pills as treatment. This course of ‘treatment’ may temper hormonal imbalances, but it doesn’t cure them.

To my girls, my warriors, my humans who are also bleeding: You’re not crazy! You’re not alone! You’re not supposed to feel this way! You’re being faced with yet another aspect of life for people who menstruate that is under-represented, under-researched, and wildly misunderstood in many cultures. To complicate the issue even further, menstruation has been made so taboo a topic that the sharing of stories within even the safest of sisterhoods feels like a stretch. So, what can we do?

Going forward, start by getting curious about your own cycle. Track more than when you bleed: notice changes in energy, sleep, appetite, mood, pain, libido, digestion, movement, and what simply feels different throughout the four phases of your cycle. You don’t need to optimize every phase or immediately change what you’re doing. First, collect information. Over several cycles, patterns may emerge that can help you anticipate what you need, ask better questions, and make more intentional choices about your health.

And talk about it. Compare notes with people you trust. Ask your healthcare providers questions when something hurts, changes, or interferes with your life—and keep asking when “that’s just your period” doesn’t feel like an adequate answer. Most importantly, resist the idea that there's one perfect way to menstruate. Your cycle is information, not an instruction manual. The more comfortable we become noticing it, talking about it, and seeking care when something doesn't feel right, the less mysterious this ordinary part of human health has to be.